Posted by Camille Dumont on May 24, 2005, at 8:48:55
In reply to Re: What are my rights? » Camille Dumont, posted by Pfinstegg on May 23, 2005, at 23:41:26
> I think you are definitely within your rights not to take the APs. You have given them a good try, and, if the positives outweighed the negatives, you wouldn't be asking this question here. I think it would be affirmative for you, and probably instructive for your doctor, if you told him exactly what you've told us. The APs can be tremendously helpful- intermittently, or short-term, especially, but, as you know, there are some real threats to one's well-being with them. If you are schizophrenic, then they are really necessary, but for you, it can always be a choice. Gaining weight, developing unhealthy blood lipids and diabetes are the main physical dangers. The one you mentioned- feeling too evened out, and sort of losing your feelings and passions- is not something which a doctor is apt to think is important- but it is. Also, that sounds like a very healthy part of you!
>Well the anti-psychotics are not really the problem. I have results from the MMPI and the Inkblot tests that state that I test negative for "thought disturbances". Its more the anti-depressants that I want to be allowed not to take.
> I'm just wondering- do you have a therapist? If you have a good one, whom you can see over a period of years, you really can grow beyond being schizoaffective, if indeed you are now, and have the life you really want. Lots of people have been able to do that-I'm sure you can, too! It is a long-term endeavor, but what could be more worthwhile?
>
I had one, a very much qualified psychologist which I saw for two years. But I stopped. It was not getting anywhere. The fact its, from what I've read, if you're schizoid PD like I am, its very very difficult to get anywhere in therapy. I never felt that "transferance" thing, I never felt any attachment to my therapist, and I felt very little when I quit. And its not her ... its just the way I am. I don't attach to people and I don't feel a need to either. I know that its a very deeply ingrained defense mechanism but when its working well, I feel fine and dandy. Or rather I don't feel ... thus I don't feel depressed. Its when it starts to crumble that things go awry ... but I really doubt much can be done to change the way I am. PDs are apparently notoriously difficult to "treat".> I'm not sure how it works in Canada in terms of long-term therapy aimed at real inner change. It may be easier to obtain that in the US.
> .Unfortunately, here, if you want therapy and you have a job and an insurance, they pay but only to a certain amount. For me its 80% up to $1000 per year ... so around 15 visits. Not a whole lot since most therapist like to see you every two weeks or so.
As I said, I felt it was not going anywhere ... and in a way I wasn't sure that I wanted it to go anywhere ... that is anywhere being me changing the way I am. And if you really don't feel as though there is something "wrong" or "not working" that you want to change, therapy is of very limited use. At least its the way I feel.
Thanks for the reply and insight
poster:Camille Dumont
thread:502033
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/502180.html