Posted by shrinking violet on May 16, 2005, at 8:29:49
In reply to Re: i must be delirious..... » shrinking violet, posted by Poet on May 15, 2005, at 23:53:39
Hi Poet, thank you.
>> Let us know what you hear from the ED program. I think asking for information about it and just considering it, in the first place, shows how strong you are. Some part of you knows that this might be a good thing, even if it means waiting to finish school. It's a part of you that seems to want to be heard.
--It's funny, sort of....I almost never come online and/or check email this early in the morning, especially before work, but this morning I did, and the program emailed me back (first thing Monday mornin') and said that they usually do take my insurance, and to give them a call. Of course, I have the student version, so it might be different. But, it's just weird.....And (this might sound stupid) I finally found the toy my T made for my cat; I had realized sometime last week, before my last session with her, that it was missing. I forgot to look for it, and after the last session and how badly it went, I took losing that toy when I did as a bad omen. I searched and searched and searched all weekend for that darn toy, a frantic NEED to find it coming over me. Finally, last night, I found it...I hope it's a good sign.
I'm not sure I can call the program though.... It was hard enough, emailing them, a sort of "what if" scenario and sort of half hoping they would respond with "no, sorry, we don't take that insurance." I want to take as many steps as possible before I ask my T for any help I may need from her in getting in (*ex* T, I mean *sigh* It's hard remembering to write that "ex" part in). And I want to examine my motives a little more.....But, I've been thinking about it a lot over the weekend especially, and I need to do this for her. I can't do it for me yet. Either way, I can't let this be the end of the story with her, it wouldn't be fair to either of us, and to our time together.
>> If I were your T, I'd welcome you back with open arms.That's sweet, thank you. I don't know if she would agree (or even could, given the restraints of her working for the University...or maybe she'd just use that as an excuse. I wouldn't blame her if she did).....But regardless, I have to try to do what I can to make things right with her, to fix this feeling like I failed her. She might feel it to; I just hope she doesn't think it's her who failed. And I never told her all that she's given me.....I think this little flicker of a flame, that's overriding the "death plan" and persuing this other course instead, almost overnight....I think my T gave it to me, I think she lit it, and she's been nurturing it and fanning it for a while now. I think she still is. Maybe more now than ever.
I need to get going....Thank you again.
{{{{{{Poet}}}}}}Take care of yourself.
sv
poster:shrinking violet
thread:497356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/498418.html