Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2005, at 18:10:55
In reply to Borderline stigma, posted by Shy_Girl on April 23, 2005, at 14:44:46
(((Shy_girl)))
I have to admit that I read your post on your dx and I wondered how long it would be before you were posting something like this...
I was diagnosed with BPD in 1998. I didn't have any idea what on earth that meant so I did a lot of reading - and I mean a lot. I read everything I could get my hands on from psychology text books to journal articles to treatment manuels.
I do think that it is fair to say that there is a lot of stigma attached to the BPD label. And the worst stigma - unfortunately - comes from clinicians rather than from the general public who typically have no idea what the diagnosis means.
I struggled for a long time with the same questions that are occurring to you:
-Is my whole personality (my whole being) f*cked up?
-Am I attention seeking / manipulative?
-Am I just a drain on the system?
-Am I never going to get any better / feel any better?
-Wouldn't I just be better off dead?In answer to these - NO NO NO.
> I'm wondering if it is a good idea or not to mention my diagnosis of BPD to future Ts, pdocs, or GPs. Will they automatically assume I'll be difficult and most likely reject me???I think it is better not to mention it. Let them get to know you as a person rather than knowing your diagnosis first. I found that clinicians who met ME first typically were good to me - whereas ones who knew my diagnosis first made all these initial judgements that took many sessions for them to backpeddle from.
> I want to hear some success stories of people with BPD. How did you overcome it? Was stigma a problem? Do you think it helped you or hurt you to know your diagnosis?It both helped and hurt. Really. It was a mixed blessing. Apparantly I no longer meet criteria for BPD. I am 26. It is possible. Don't get me wrong - I still struggle. Life is hard at times.
>I'm sad. :-( I think my pdoc giving me this label of BPD means she is fed up with me. My worst fears are confirmed. She hates me!
Sometimes the diagnosis of BPD is given innapropriately to patients who seem 'difficult'. But not so much as it used to be. They were reluctant to tell you your diagnosis - isn't that right? To me that signifies that they were attempting to spare you of what you are going through right now.
>People don't even find it difficult to be around me, probably because I avoid most people.
I am avoidant too. If it is any consolation a fair few people with BPD are avoidant as well. My avoidance actually got worse with my getting the BPD dx. I started to believe (even more so) that I wasn't fit to be around people.
Your life is not a waste.
I struggled a lot with the idea that my whole personality - my whole being was flawed. Try to remember that the DSM diagnosis is DESCRIPTIVE. The symptoms that you must meet to be given a diagnosis are fairly much descriptions of BEHAVIOURS. Not your whole being - just some of the behaviours that you exhibit. As you learn other ways to cope - you won't exhibit those behaviours anymore.I really would suggest you have a read of the treatment manuel that was written my Marsha Linehan. That was a real godsend to me. She is a really terrific advocate for reducing the stigma around BPD. She argues (convincingly I think) that most of the stigma is due to counter-transference issues on the part of clinicians.
"I hate you - don't leave me" was also quite good.
If you ever get the chance to do DBT (Dialectical Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) then I highly reccomend it. I did it for a year and it helped me immensely.
Smokeymadison has a dx of BPD as well. (I hope she won't mind me mentioning it). I have started threads over on social asking who was BPD and there were many many responses by posters saying they had been diagnosed with / told they had BPD traits.
There is hope.
Hang in there.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:488384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/488454.html