Posted by Shortelise on March 19, 2005, at 12:42:31
I dreamt I was in my shrink's office with him, except he was a cross between him and the shrink I saw when hospitalised for one year 32 years ago (today is the anniversary of the date I went in and came out exactly a year later.) We were talking intensely, and I was feeling one of my oldest feelings: angry loss and helplessness in that loss. I know this feeling so well! I wanted to somehow get from him what I need, wanted to make him give it to me - to tell me I don't have to terminate, that I can stay and bring my feelings to him when I need to.
I was wearing a dress, a pale floral number - I never wear dresses - and socks - one was black and the other was white.
But he would not budge. It was ten after one, I didn't know how long I'd been there, didn't know when was time to go. He said we'd gone over, and so I started to gather my things, but changed my mind, said I didn't need them and left his office.
There were people in the waiting room, and they all looked at me.
I was walking away down the street and his receptionist came after me. I brushed her off, and walked to the ocean. There, I climbed on the rocks, high up onto a ridge of rocks that paralleled the shore in a narrow strip. I crawled along the top, so afraid, vertigo, but I kept going, trying to decide if I should just fall, but afraid of falling.
I eventually came to the end, a town. I hoped I could take a bus back as I couldn't face crawling back on the rocks.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:472814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472814.html