Posted by annierose on January 17, 2005, at 16:59:16
In reply to Re: Free association and therapy/ » annierose, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 17, 2005, at 16:04:34
Thanks to both of you -
I have been lieing low lately. My brain is so full trying to process this therapy life, that I need to make room for my kids + husband too.Today went pretty well. I did manage to share more of my passing thoughts than usual today. I would prefix each comment, "this is really uncomfortable to say ..." or "it's hard to share ...". And she was very supportive and reflective and gave me some ideas to ponder. However ... the session ended on a different note.
She asked me, "what qualities have you internalized about yourself from your childhood?"
(something like that). One quality among others I stated was I didn't feel I was very pretty. I come from a family of 5 children (2 sisters, 2 brothers) and I was the plainest girl (on purpose, I didn't want any undue attention from my father). So I'm sure she was being nice and all, when she said, "Annie, I don't think that about you, you are very tall, have striking features, full bodied hair." Seriously, those are not exactly flattering comments in my humble opinion. I started to cry and told her "I wish you wouldn't have said anything." And her reply was "I think it's uncomfortable for you because you never heard nice things before." Then time was up.Well, that's not true. We were talking about the past. And I made it clear that I didn't believe that about myself now. I struggle with my self image, yes, but I feel prettier now than I did as a child. In fact, of my 2 sisters, I think I'm the prettiest (how bold of a comment is that?).
And although well meaning, her comments, "striking features" is like saying, "well there are some parts of you that are striking" ... she qualified her comment. And nice hair? OMG ... my hair is a MESS! It only looks nice once a month when I get my color re-done or cut. I guess she is right. It's hard to take in compliments. But it would have been nicer to hear, "Annie, I think you are striking (period). You're tall, thin (I'm wishing now ... I identified with that liposuction thread/ but I'm in good shape)."As I said, I'm over-thinking right now. Glad I'm going 3x per week (reason why over thinking is probably kicking in). But I did feel closer to her sharing more of my passing thoughts.
Thanks for thinking of me. I'm trying to stay warm. We had the kids make s'mores in the fireplace on Saturday night. Always a special treat, and I made some too!!
poster:annierose
thread:441668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050117/msgs/443285.html