Posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 9:20:52
In reply to idiotic, childish behaviour, posted by Shortelise on December 17, 2004, at 3:17:09
ShortE,
I think I understand the push/pull to dependency. In my case, it's fulfilling something I didn't get in childhood. I go back and forth between the comfort I get and the desire to be independent. I've seen myself even act a bit passive-aggessively at times when the dependency feels threatened, by my own strive towards independence or by other things. It is embarrassing for someone who considers herself to be otherwise reasonably competent and adult.But it's a necessary part of treatment. I think that initial gains are exciting but also very scary. I suppose its almost like a child who is learning to be securely attached. My guess it the child makes initial steps away from "mom" but then returns when it gets too scary. That's reinforcing, but so was the excited feeling of being independent. So as long as "mom" is always there and present, even if not "needed" at the immediate moment, the child will then continue to branch out and return, until it becomes a well-developed ability to be independent and yet secure in the mother's love.
At any rate, I think that's what's going on with me. Does this sound at all like what's going on with you?
And unless there are external reasons for ending therapy...such as insurance or geography or whatever, my own belief is that it is important to stay with the process even when that branching out gets more and more secure feeling. Becuase it is the presence of the mother figure in the background, supporting and available, which makes independence secure.
You are not idiotic at all. And child-like, rather than childish. How's that?
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:430657
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/430737.html