Posted by daisym on December 3, 2004, at 15:29:50
In reply to Re: Pre-verbal feelings- the different parts » daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on December 3, 2004, at 11:44:12
I guess this is where I am luckier than most adults. I have a huge play room just outside my office and as the director I get to go and play with the kids anytime I like. I learned long ago to work play into all our staff meetings and when I take my staff on retreat, I give everyone new crayons, among other things.
I actually could see my therapist on the floor playing. Thing is, his office is up in the trees (second story) and from the couch I'm surrounded by windows so I feel almost like I'm outside. And he has lots of pillows for me to hold on to. If I was on the floor, I wouldn't be able to see out the windows.
I guess I'm not ready to pretend to comfort her yet. Once in a while I feel twinges of sympathy. I think I'm afraid of the anger she carries as well as the sadness. I think it will leak out onto everything else, especially my therapist. That just feels unacceptable. And I think I haven't worked through all the self-blame yet. So there is a big part of me that thinks I have no right to be angry. Or the anger is unjustified and misdirected (at mom, not dad). Makes me dizzy to think about it.
Thank you for sharing so much and blazing the trail. I'm a ways behind you but working my way up the hill.
poster:daisym
thread:422774
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041203/msgs/424026.html