Posted by sunny10 on October 8, 2004, at 9:25:24
In reply to Re: The Point of therapy » sunny10, posted by vwoolf on October 7, 2004, at 14:48:59
Vwoolf,
No wonder you are so conflicted! Honey, I fully believe that all humans are capable of being bi-sexual... we are ALL hedonists to a certain extent. But just keep in mind that the idea of "becoming" a lesbian does not exist. You cannot "become" a lesbian. You can experiment, but your sexual preference is obviously men, but in a very conflicted way. You are just looking for new and different ways to escape all of this pressure.
We ARE so alike- I just knew it ! I, too hold a very lucrative position where my creativity and assertiveness at work and have been a complete doormat at home !
The issue for you is coming to terms with the fact that your husband IS treating you like a geisha instead of a spouse. And you are growing more emotionally mature IN SPITE of what you were put through at a very early age. You KNOW now that you deserve to be treated just as respectfully in your personal life as in your professional life.
I wonder, what are the skeletons hiding in your husband's inner child. What did HE go through as a child to cause him to act this way towards his wife? And can you help HIM mature emotionally?
And, deep down inside, is it worth all of the heartache and work to help him and yourself?
How old are the kids at this point? I ask because I divorced my husband when my child was only three and a half. I didn't know that I suffered from chemical depression, then. And I didn't realize that I had chosen the same emotional abuser for a husband that my father had been. My father also hit, so I guess my demented mind thought that made my ex-husband a better man, just because he broke things and was very hurtful - humiliated me in public, et cetera.
He wasn't a better man. There are a lot of emotionally damaged men out there who "prey" on vulnerable women. I'm sure you've heard that. My ex was one. And it sounds like YOUR husband is one, also.
From your post, it seems to me that you no longer want to take part in the brothel atmosphere and subsequent "entertainment". So don't do it. You didn't tell me, will your husband hurt you physically if you refuse?
Please let me know how you are doing. You, LittleGirlLost, and AdaGrace are worrying me.
I have been parts of each of you, and have worked HARD to overcome those parts. Any help I can give, even a platonic HUGE hig, an ear (eye?) to listen, whatever.
I, and many others, are here for you.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:399630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/400317.html