Posted by lookdownfish on October 5, 2004, at 14:53:29
Today, I brought up the topic of termination with my T again. I did't really plan to talk about it, it just popped out. I tend to bring this topic up with her in quite a grumpy offhand way, something like "I just don't see the point of coming here anymore". I just can't bring myself to be pleasant about it.
At times when we have talked about it before she seems to have implied that she didn't think termination was a good idea and that I should be trying to get more out of therapy. It felt like she was saying, "you haven't come far enough", but she didn't actually say that, just my perception. So back then (this was only about 3 or 4 months back I think) I relaxed a bit, and thought, well she thinks I need to get more out of this, so she must be right, it's up to her when we finish.
Today I was feeling like it was all a waste of time, so I brought it up again. Her position today seems to have shifted a bit - more like "What do you want from your life?" and "It's up to you to take control". Thing is, I don't want to take control. I want to be passive and meek and not face up to the pain of having to leave her. The practical side of me knows that I am feeling a lot stronger these days, and I could finish therapy, but the little girl lost part wants to stay with her forever, infact preferably move in with her, if at all possible.
How do I know if its time to terminate? My depression is certainly a lot better, but will I disintegrate if I'm not seeing her anymore? Should I be going deeper into some of the issues that I have barely touched on?
poster:lookdownfish
thread:399250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399250.html