Posted by crushedout on October 4, 2004, at 11:43:13
In reply to Re: Fighting to relationship » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on October 4, 2004, at 10:30:59
I've been really struggling lately. And it's not completely about my T but it has something to do with her and my feelings about her -- that's all mixed in. But mostly, I just don't feel sure that she's really a help to me right now. And I'm not sure that she's not a help -- I'm just not sure that she is. I think at least she's not actively making things worse so that's good.I just don't know. And I also don't feel like I can leave her and start over with someone else. That feels impossible to me, as it always has.
> What was it like when I was "doing all the work"? I guess for me it felt like I was coming up with all of the topics (and this is OK), and trying to explain everything to her, and figuring out what was important. There was a sense that I was pushing things onto her - where usually there is a sense that the therapist is "receiving", or even pulling things from the patient. She was not adding insights for me, I was having insights, but it was all what I was thinking and saying that brought them about. She was listening and sometimes asking questions, but the questions that she asked didn't help me move further in the process. Like she was trailing behind me, rather than walking beside me or leading me. I had the sense that one has when walking with a 2 year old, and I wanted to get there faster but my therapist wanted to look around and get distracted ("OK, yes that is interesting, but we need to keep moving now or we'll never get there").
>
> It is kind of hard to describe. What is going on with you?
poster:crushedout
thread:315688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/398796.html