Posted by shrinking violet on August 28, 2004, at 10:33:22
In reply to Re: discovering anger and hostility for the first time » alexandra_k, posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2004, at 7:44:44
Wow, I'm the exact opposite. Anger has always been the one emotion for me that I feel "safe" with. I'd rather feel anger than feel hurt or sad or cry or any of those other "messy" emotions. My family is also fairly volatile in that anger is the first and only emotion that is safe to feel and express to others, and we have very short tempers. I'm not really afraid of my anger, although I know I have too much of it, and I know I often use it to mask other emotions. Whenever I do let myself feel hurt or sadness, I do so alone and try to hide it as best I can from everyone else. It's interesting that most people are afraid of anger, yet I'm more afraid of feeling and showing that I am vulnerable. Now I'm realizing that maybe I need to let myself feel other things more, especially after I started repeatedly directing my anger at my T, and her reacting to it. I feel very safe with her, so if I were going to show or let myself feel any other emotion, it would be with her. I wish I had some words for you that might help, other than it's OK to be angry, it doesn't mean you are a bad person, and try not to be afraid of it; we have emotions (the "pleasant" ones and the "unpleasant" ones) for a reason. Maybe too, after 'stuffing' your anger for a while, it starts to come out whether you want it to or not, and at first it may feel overwhelming. Try throwing ice cubes at a tree, I've heard that can help. :)
Good luck.
-SV
poster:shrinking violet
thread:383161
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/383302.html