Posted by shadows721 on June 21, 2004, at 20:50:31
In reply to My experiences with therapy, posted by fires on June 21, 2004, at 14:34:23
I really thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have been through the mill with theories so to speak.
From my little knowledge base, this is what I feel.
"Run from any T who suggests that your dep. is due to pent up anger."'
When I 1st got on Buspar, my depression started to lift and all this rage started poring out. I literally wanted to hit strangers. My psychiatrist told me that it was the depression supressing the action of the rage. I do have rage about abuse, so this may or may not be true. Don't know. I had to get on additional meds to help the rage."Be leary of PTs that say that you must feel worse before you feel better!" I agree and disagree with this. In my case, this does happen many times. I have flashbacks and go through Hell. Seems like it's an oximoron. I am strong enough to face the past, but it still knocks the wind out of me for a while.
As far as the goal of tx, I understood that it is the client that comes up with the goal and not the t.
This is my theory of therapy = "If I am not in control of the ship, it's not sailing". So, therapy isn't going to be their theories as the ultimate truth. Just as any other person I meet in life, I will listen and way in their beliefs. They are people and they make mistakes too.
I don't look to them as my parents. Personally, that theory gives me the creeps. I had parents and they failed in many ways. That is over. My responsibility is me. My therapist can't do the work for me. It's like I told my mother the other day. Your days of parenting are really done in a way. What you did and didn't do are done. It's up to me to choose what to do with it now, so I said, "Stop telling me to do things you never did and never tried to do with your own life."
Since I have been in therapy for a while, I can't even fool myself with transference or other issues like that. When I am having any intense feeling, I seem to want to know why. Sometimes, I tell my t that I've got one of those client issue problems. Then, I dig for the reason. I think of my t as a support person and a comfort. She gives me ideas that maybe I need to be reminded or something I hadn't thought about. I don't rely on her so to speak. Sometimes, she is just holding up a mirror, so I can see what my problem really is. It's a different relationship. I am glad for it. I feel that I do need it and have benefited from it. I have also understood others around me better. Personally, I think everyone could benefit from therapy in some point in their life-even if it's just a need to have someone really actively listen and respond to them. I think we all have that need deep inside.
Thanks again for sharing and I am glad you are doing well.
poster:shadows721
thread:358678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/358803.html