Posted by fallsfall on June 21, 2004, at 8:31:32
In reply to Re: help with DBT...jumping in here, posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2004, at 12:23:47
>Gosh, I can so relate to what you said about being sensitive to criticism and feeling like it's just like your Mom. In my case, it's more my Dad, I think, but still. No matter what you do, it's never good enough it seems.
It is my dad, too. And it tears me apart.
Terrics, please talk to her about how you experience her. I'm finding that my issues (which are around this very area right now) are part transference and part reality. My therapist and I are smack in the middle of this, but if I come out of it I'll tell you how it worked in my case (I know I wrote "if" - I do have more optimism than that, I do trust my therapist, but I am so far down right now that I can't see where I need to go).
I didn't find my (not officially trained) DBT therapist to be rude. My current therapist can appear cold, heartless and combative at times. But he can also be very kind and gentle. We don't seem to always agree on when he should stop being cold, heartless and combative... And those times he really is able to force me to truly look at and see things that I never thought I would see. I think that his method is effective (even if it is painful... But NOT changing is ALSO painful for me). I couldn't tolerate the hard times if I didn't believe that he truly cared and that he was very good at what he does.
He was kind and gentle and caring on Friday, and so I have the courage to see him today.
Perhaps your DBT therapist needs to spend a little more time establishing the therapeutic alliance before you could have a similar trust in her to carry you through the painful learning.
(((((Terrics)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:357023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/358512.html