Posted by spoc on May 7, 2004, at 16:44:06
In reply to On the other hand, posted by fallsfall on May 6, 2004, at 12:40:55
> As I read your two initial posts I just kept shaking my head in agreement. Your situation seems so familiar to me. Being angry at my therapist. Having him tell me I'm distorting. Seeing that he might be making some sense. Being even angrier. Feeling unsupported. Feeling attacked. Wanting to leave. Wishing that he would be nice to me for just ONE session. Frustration. Not knowing how to "fix" things.>
---
I think is the kind of thing I don't get about choosing a therapist most likely to be effective for oneself. I am pretty inexperienced in it all, and am not seeing a T now, but plan to someday. A recent short-lived experience looked as if it would end up falling along the lines of what you describe, which I also decided could be good. But in that case it ended up feeling "unsafe" coming from what was in fact a stranger, right out of the gate. I never sensed a a period of trust-building, during which he was getting to know me as a unique new case.Anyway, where does such a 'tough love' approach fit in with the theories of Ts who strongly encourage clients to need them, learn to trust with them, and get much of the warmth and compassion missing in their lives from them? If the client has ended up with a T who takes one approach, and they are uncomfortable or dissatisfied beyond 'normal' and expected levels of that, should they expect to be told (or at least have it conceded) that the other approach may be better for them? When one feels miserable for a long time, how do they know if wanting to leave is just running from something they shouldn't; or if in fact they should be running?
It's easy to guess at which personality types and types of issues would fare better with a tougher approach, and which with a gentler and more supportive/compassionate approach. But once there, I'm guessing most Ts would maintain that their approach is likely to be most effective in the long run. Sorry, this is broad and probing and there probably is no answer, beyond going with one's gut and hoping it can still be trusted! But thanks if anyone has any insights on this. :- )
(Oh and Tabitha, I wanted to say that I could relate to some of the things you have been saying about group(s), but feel like I should hold off indefinitely on certain types of subjects, as I'm not sure how I come across in writing sometimes.)
poster:spoc
thread:343053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/344482.html