Posted by Rigby on February 4, 2004, at 13:03:40
In reply to ok, now it hurts, posted by crushedout on February 3, 2004, at 23:06:11
Hey Crushed,
I've been there in terms of hugely devastating crushes. I guess they call 'em crushes for a good reason, huh? The thing is the longer they go on for, the more they wear you down. It's not pretty.
Crushes go deep and wide and usually emanate from huge feelings of loneliness, emptiness and longing. I think from my experience, crushes emanate from not having some really basic needs met. The bigger the crush, probably the deeper and further back the echo of those needs--most likely childhood would be my guess. In this case you finally feel like your therapist is giving you what you need--most likely what you've needed in a huge way, for a long, long time. This at once feels incredible (at last!) but since you can't have her it's devastating. And only leaves you knowing that, well, you've got huge needs.
I know. This doesn't help your here-and-now hurting. These are only words and explanations are intellectual. The healing comes from a sinking-in, from an emotional realization about these things. Healing doesn't happen in a day. Or even in a year. Your crush will fade. But it won't probably relent until where its emanating from is hashed out.
Because you are being so truthful and because you are not running away from the wrenching emotions this is all bringing up from you I really, really, believe that you're going to get better--soon. Please try and keep the faith.
I'm thinking of you and feel for you. You've got a ton of courage--and, as mentioned, this *will* get better.
Rigby
> I knew the good feelings couldn't last forever. Now I want to die. Why can't she be my lover? This is so wrong.
poster:Rigby
thread:309129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309339.html