Posted by Rigby on January 16, 2004, at 11:34:56
I had this thought about transference: in the end, doesn't it pretty much boil down to unmet needs?
The therapist--whether it be a good or bad kind of transference, becomes something we need or feel we've needed? In my case, basically I was abandoned and left with a highly abusive (and crazed) brother. So here I am now stuck with huge childhood needs that went unmet. How wouldn't someone *not* experience transference when Pandora's box is opened (through therapy, through asking questions and introspection?) All of a sudden you're aware of what's been missing. What's been missing may mean a host of things. But you become aware and the first target to meet those needs? The person sitting across from you in therapy.
So. How do we move on from transference? I sure as heck don't like the feeling of extreme dependence upon someone I don't really know, can never really know and have to pay for.
I think for me what might be working (not there yet but trying) is to stop focusing on the *therapist* and to start looking at the dynamics being played out, why they're there and ultimately, by doing so, moving past them. I think then, when we've discovered *what* we need and *why*, our therapy may be able to come to a positive ending with fulfilling closure. It's almost like I have to force myself out of thinking about the actual therapist and push the thoughts back onto me, my past and what happened to make things so twitchy in my dynamic with my therapist. It's work. But it seems to help moving things along.
Dunno. More than anything I'm just thinking out loud. What do you guys think?
poster:Rigby
thread:301600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/301600.html