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Re: Shar » shar

Posted by Dinah on November 30, 2003, at 10:16:23

In reply to Re: Dinah, are you okay? » Dinah, posted by shar on November 29, 2003, at 21:10:24

Shar, that sounds like an awful memory. How young were you? I have a handful of those flashbulb memories from the years before 4 1/2. All have been corroborated, as they were complete with details no one would have bothered to tell me, yet were accurate. Like I remember visiting my father in his apartment when I was 3 1/2. I remember where the sofa and lamp and the arrangement of the front room to the door. There are no photos, and no one bothered to tell me, but when I asked if it was correct, it was. So it's definitely possible.

I also have several other memories from that time period which are from an observer rather than a participant point of view. I'm not quite sure whether those are memories or long told family tales or taken from photographs. But they were all consistent with what I know from others to be true, and consistent with the stories and the pictures. So I think those are probably true memories too. Perhaps influenced by other sources. And probably a few of them are more influence than original memory by now. :)

I have several memories that are more memories of remembering than of the original event. I remember that I remembered this.

And probably the memory that influenced me most during my troubles as an adolescent was almost certainly a dream rather than a memory. From my "baby book" I see that there may have been a germ of truth to it, but I thought then, and I think now, that it was a dream.

So if your memories are in keeping of what you know of your mother and your early life, they are probably correct in all the ways that count.

If to your knowledge your mother has never behaved like that in her life, you might want to question them a bit more.

At least that's my philosophy on memories.

I'm truly sorry that you have to live with memories imprinted with fear and anger. It seems, unfortunately, that those are the most easily imprinted.

 

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