Posted by Poet on October 22, 2003, at 10:00:22
Hi everyone,
I've been wallowing in intense sadness so I haven't been babbling much this week. Last week, I told my therapist that I don't like my inner child and don't want to find her anymore. She told me I have to figure out why I felt that way and we'll discuss it in the next session,which is tomorrow.
Last night, I just started crying and I rarely cry.
The usual beating myself up for feeling like a failure, etc. Then it hit me, what I was crying about. I realized that the little girl inside of me, who my therapist says feels abandoned, was abandoned by me. I don't like her because I don't like what she became.I remembered a poem I wrote when I was 18 about my child running away. As I had no children (still don't, except cats) I realized I meant my inner child. It's like I wrote it, forgot about it, and never fully understood what I said until now.
I wrote down what I was feeling, and I will read it to my T tomorrow. I've never done that before, but I know others, here, do it and it seems to be a good way to talk about hard things.
I needed to share this with someone before tomorrow and I don't want to call her today. I know, you can call your therapist anytime they're needed, but that's an issue I still haven't resolved.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:271826
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/271826.html