Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2003, at 9:36:27
In my search on transference, the main piece of advice I got from everyone was that if you choose a competent, professional, well trained and empathetic therapist, that you could tell him or her anything you were feeling. And I've certainly found that true in my therapeutic relationship. That my therapist was able to use what I tell him to further the therapy. (And yes, I suppose that may be because he has supervision.)
But the problem I see is that by the time we find Psychological Babble, or by the time we're worried about transference, it's already too late. And a careful search will only benefit us the next time, when we've already been hurt.
In an ideal world, I think there would be some sort of MMPI for therapists. When a state licensed you, they would send you a list of six hundred questions for you to endorse or not endorse.
I believe in getting supervision on a regular basis.
I think people with BPD are parasites. (I'd reject a therapist for that one, Nikki)
I think people with BPD are doing their best to cope with their painful feelings.
I avoid clients oozing with transference potential.
I prefer my clients to be independent.
I believe that my job as a therapist is to be a teacher.
I believe if there isn't significant improvement in six months, there isn't going to be significant improvement, and the client should be referred on.
I prefer not to refer a client on during treatment for fear of confirming abandonment fears, and try first to get supervision to solve any issues I am having with a client.
I believe in telling a client all of my feelings towards him or her.
I believe that intimate contact with a client can be beneficial (I guess they wouldn't answer that one honestly).
And hundreds more, touching on attitudes and competencies.
Then they could be scored, like the MMPI, for therapist competencies and where they stand on the empathy and psychopathy, etc. scales.
And the therapists would have to hand out the results to potential clients. Not the individual items maybe, but the scores.
But that's an ideal world. How can someone going into therapy for the first time possibly judge? A license or a degree is no indicator. I have read things by famous and well respected therapists that have degrees up the hoo-ha and years of experience, that set my hair on end. I just want to gather up their clients and give them a big hug.
I found my therapist in a seminar he was giving on anxiety. He was teaching guided imagery and asked after if we had felt our tension go down, and some questions like that. And I was the class member who tentatively raised her hand and told the truth, after which many others did the same. I was a real class ruiner for the poor guy. I talked to him during intermission, and described my panic attacks, and told him that I was having trouble making an appointment over the phone. I was mainly speaking to receptionists and intake coordinators that didn't seem too eager to have new, unreferred patients. And he was very pleasant and gave me his card (despite my disruption of his class). And I went *because* of that.
I had no idea of anything about him, except his kindness. I actually thought he was kind of psycho-babbly and shallow. It would never have occurred to me that I'd have gone more than a few months, after which time he'd have fixed me right up and sent me on my way. I certainly didn't (nor did he) see me as oozing transference potential. I was Ms. Intellectual No Emotion Rational Person.
Obviously, it wasn't the best way to choose a therapist. But there are two big questions. How do you choose a competent therapist? And two, how do you know that you need to, before your first therapy experience?
poster:Dinah
thread:268915
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/268915.html