Posted by kara lynne on September 11, 2003, at 1:41:46
In reply to Re: Do I need my therapist to love me? » kara lynne, posted by Adia on September 10, 2003, at 22:32:46
Hi Adia,
Thank you for posting--I found your advice very helpful. See, if my therapist was that supportive I would feel much better!I am going to talk to him about this next week, but I'm afraid he's going to ask me what I want to do about it--meaning do I want to quit therapy with him. The truth is it's making me reconsider, and I might want to consult with a couple of more therapists to decide. But of course if he just lets me go I'm sure I'll feel rejected. I did tell him I wanted to work with him at our initial consultation, when he asked me if I wanted to look around more first. But now I'm not so sure.
At our last session I said it seemed we weren't going to get much accomplished because it felt like he was having to pull teeth, and I didn't feel much support from him. He asked if I wanted to end early. I didn't like that response--I don't want to pay money to have that be his suggestion when I'm frustrated. It finally dawned on me during the last five minutes that I did need to feel more cared for by him in order to open up but I didn't want to say it with no time left.
He's done things like give me possible job leads--well one--but something essential about the connection seems to be lacking for me. On the heels of coming out of such a bad relationship I really need that trust with men, and he knows that. He's said over and over that I have trust issues, but I guess I'm just magically supposed to get over them because he's confronted me about it.
Thank you Adia, for saying you do need your therapist to love you. I think I need my therapist to love me too. Fallsfall brings up a different aspect about not wanting to become so dependent after her last therapy experience. So as she says she's willing to forego some of the warmth I may be looking now. I guess we can all get different things in different situations. But you know how you're around certain people and you feel yourself able to *be* yourself more in their presence? I am feeling almost the opposite of that with him and I wonder if it's not my intuition telling me something important.
Thank you so much for your support.
poster:kara lynne
thread:258785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/258988.html