Posted by Adia on September 9, 2003, at 20:03:34
In reply to Re: My therapist called ...., posted by HannahW on September 9, 2003, at 17:58:21
Dear Hannah,
Thank you for your message..It brought tears to my eyes. It touched my heart.
Thank you so much for understanding and sharing with me...It helps me feel more hopeful inside my heart...that maybe I can make things work if I try with all of me...
I am taking risperdal, but I will ask my psychiatrist if we can change 'cause it isn't helping me much right now...
Thank you for your support...
I have an hour bus trip to get to my therapist's office, I have written her some stuff, I may read it on the bus so as to focus a bit and to feel the words in me, I have to make it work somehow, I'll try not to give in to fear as I always do...I realize that she's giving me this chance to show her that I am willing to try and make an effort no matter how hard it is..I don't want to lose her..I am sooo afraid of that part of me that gives up so easily when I am with her...
But I will try to be strong and give it all I have as you have shared...
I really need this to work...It was terrible to think I might lose her or she might give up on me.
I will try to take a deep breath when I find myself sitting in front of her and let things out...Thank you for saying it is possible and it will be okay if I do that...
I do feel relieved that she agreed to give me this session and I do believe she would be willing to work with me but it all depends on what happens...and what I do on friday..
I'll try to hang on to what you tell me here,if I don't let it all out then I might lose her...If I do let it all out then you are right that it is what she wants and she won't reject me and it will make her feel she can work with me...Thank you for making me think that I can do it, I will hate myself if I don't give it all I have...It would be like admitting to myself that I am someone who doesn't deserve to be helped at all.
You are right that if the tables were turned I wouldn't reject her if she shared that stuff...
I will try to give myself the chance...somehow...
and trust her and fight my fear and do something before I lose her or it's too late...
Thank you for touching my heart.
I'll let you all know how it goes...
i'm counting the hours...
Thank you so much, you've given me hope.. :o)
Adia.
poster:Adia
thread:257321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/258560.html