Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2003, at 18:26:19
My therapist's mom died. He'll be out till next week. It wasn't unexpected. I know it's not my job to take care of his needs, but I've known him for a long time and am fond of him. I just feel bad that he feels bad. And really that's my main feeling right now, sadness for him.
But I'm not quite sure how to handle my inevitable feelings of guilt. I mean I am bound to be talking of things and think, geez you shouldn't be nattering on about this to someone who's mom just died. Or if I complain of my mother, that's likely to make me feel guilty too. To make matters worse, my husband's mom is not at all well, and I've already felt uncomfortable talking about that to my therapist, considering his situation.
How have you all dealt with the times when your therapist was sad? How do you overcome the desire to not bother him or even to try to take care of him? It's hard to turn off those mothering instincts. Is it up to him to set the tone?
I certainly hope the answer isn't to tell him directly of my concerns. That would seem too great a burden to put on him. In fact it seems almost rude of me to acknowledge awareness of his private life, although he's always been pretty open about it.
poster:Dinah
thread:215567
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/215567.html