Posted by fi on April 2, 2003, at 16:02:21
In reply to Who runs this life? Me or therapist?, posted by Tabitha on March 19, 2003, at 3:46:49
I havent read all the responses, so sorry if this has been said already.
Just on one aspect, re the timing of sessions. This can be seen as a basic part of your mutual contract, which can be discussed on that level if you want to ie 'we agreed initially to meet for 50 minutes every * at *. I'm fulfilling that commitment but it now seems to be a problem for you. Is that the case? Can you commit to future sessions?' never mind the emotional level of 'how the hell do you think this makes me feel?' which is an optional extra!
I had a (private, not NHS)therapist like that- it was OK when I worked shifts and could go in the afternoon, but even then he kept making my sessions earlier. Then I got an office job and it was a nightmare- different days, short notice, different times. So I was fitted round his evening social life, which varied unpredictably!!
It stopped being a problem when he emigrated (aint that just wonderful for the course of therapy!)
So there's a layer of this which is what I should have said to him, but I do also think its true more generally that the basic contract is something both sides should commit to, and if any variation is needed this needs serious discussion on a practical as well as emotional level.
For example, another aspect of the contract is payment. How would your therapist react if you stopped paying the set amount each time, and started leaving out the occasional 10%?
Whatever, lots of luck and I hope you get the support you need, whether from the therapist or elsewhere.
Fi
poster:fi
thread:210618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/215484.html