Posted by WorryGirl on March 18, 2003, at 18:17:09
I recently finally went to see a psychologist (instead of the therapist I saw briefly last fall and summer). I don't know if they are just trying to make money off me or if I'm sicker than even I imagined, but my husband is so freaked out that for the first time in our marriage I really worry. I took some personality tests, and gave him (the psychologist) a brief history of my past.
I have (no significance to the order and nothing has been 100% confirmed yet - I haven't gone back yet either) 1-social anxiety disorder, 2-bulimia, 3-bipolar, 4-paranoia, 5-obsessive compulsive disorder, 6-problems with co-dependency, and 7-low self-esteem, 8-some postpartum depression, 9-PMDD, 10-avoidant personality. No wonder I feel like such a loser and freak. No wonder people read strange vibes from me and back off. I know I need help. I'm just so embarrassed and ashamed. I'm afraid to tell my parents. It's hard to believe but they think I'm fine and wouldn't even guess how *ucked up I am! I've been so depressed lately I haven't even read this board for a month or two. Understandably, my husband hasn't taken this too well. He has already had enough from me. Miraculously, my two little girls seem unscathed. I have tried so hard to not get upset around them.
How could I have gotten by all this time seemingly OK? Why has everything crumbled since my two daughters were born? The bad things that have happened to me all occurred up until around age 25. I'm 36. Why now when it looked like everything was finally under control? How come I didn't freak out then? I know the psychologist should answer that but I'm terrified to go back. It's like it's going to really confirm how messed up I am.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:210476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/210476.html