Posted by bluedog on December 11, 2002, at 20:27:30
In reply to Re: On anger... » Eddie Sylvano, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2002, at 16:18:24
Hi Dinah
I have not had much contact with you through PB before but I always read your posts with great interest and I have over time come to understand that you have a very deep personal experience and understanding of therapy and the different therapy techniques.
I actually went to 4 or 5 therapy sessions recently with a clinical psychologist in my city but because I'm on sickness benefits at the moment I had to quit because I could no longer afford it.
I suffer from social anxiety, depression and CFS and I too have a strong (and uncontrollable) tendency to suddenly switch over into a dissociative state when I feel stressed, anxious or threatened (at parties my mind will suddenly drift off into the ether and my limbs will become heavy, numb and tingly - It is actually a VERY pleasant state to be in and I liken it to an almost spiritual experience. It's simply that POWERFUL). Of course the flip side to the pleasant feelings of dissociation is that my ability to have normal social interaction is suspended leading people to avoid me or simply view me as weird! This ultimately leads to feeling of deep depression once I come "back down"
Now my problem is that I actually go into a dissociative state with my therapist. I would feel myself going into a trance when she asked me certain questions about my past and I would no longer "see" my therapist sitting in front of me and all I could hear was her voice somewhere in the background. All I could "see" was the inside of my head and I was actually re-experiencing the emotions of bad events in my past (for example I saw my best friend drown when I was younger after he fell into water and I still remember just standing there completely frozen instead of running for some adult assistance....I was 6 years old at the time) I similarly went into this trance like state when I spoke of my lifetime bullying experiences with my therapist.
My therapist was actually quite concerned that I was going into this dissociative state during my therapy sessions and she felt that I may in fact have a form of undiagnosed PTSD. I always thought that my dissociation was a symptom of my social anxiety.
My question for you Dinah is this:-
Is it normal to dissociate during therapy sessions? I used to leave these sessions completely numb and I was not quite sure where she was heading with my therapy. I know I only had 4 or 5 sessions but when I go back to work and can afford it again do you think that I should recommence my therapy sessions and do you think that therapy could help me? At this stage therapy scares me to a degree and I don't know if I will improve if I continue with the sessions and whether I should just stick to my meds and reading "Feeling Good" by Br Burns?
I would very much appreciate your feelings on this issue.
thankyou
bluedog
poster:bluedog
thread:1797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1799.html