Posted by ShelliR on November 24, 2002, at 21:37:15
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
> "How Psychotherapy Really Works, How it Works When it Works and Why Sometimes it Doesn't" by Willard Gaylin, M.D. is a book that was mentioned on this forum a long time ago. I wrote the title and author down but just recently bought it. I always wondered why my therapist never told me what she wanted me to talk about, what she was thinking, and how this therapy was supposed to work. Since my husband wondered aloud if she was much of a therapist since she didn't appear to have a direction in mind for my therapy, I always doubted her too. This book answered all of my questions and now I have a much better idea of what really is happening in there and why. Furthermore, I know that my therapist is doing exactly what she's supposed to. Ahhh... what a relief.
Hi Waterlily,
I haven't read the book you're talking about, but what you've written seems very strange to me. Maybe it's just a semantic thing.
I think there are so many types of therapy and so many different ways of doing therapy, that the notion that a therapist is "doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing" feels very suspect to me.
A couple of years ago I changed therapists because I felt that the therapist I had been working with, didn't structure the therapy enough for me, didn't give me enough imput/opinion into how she viewed the issues I was bringing up and how I handled them. Actually, I felt that she just didn't overall talk enough for me.
I liked her a lot as a person, but I work best with a lot of structure, and with therapists who communicate how they see things, even if I disagree with them. I also want to be pushed to talk about things I am avoiding, or at least reminded that I have kept something on the back burner, so that maybe I can learn what about it is scary to me. So I switched to a much more active therapist. I feel that I'm strong enough to hear a therapist's opinons, (within reason and with respect, of course), ponder them, and accept or reject them fully or in part.
It was somewhat scarier to work with a very direct therapist, but I felt that I progressed much more quickly in meeting my goals. More and more I have come to see a therapist as a coach: someone to support you, root you on, and point out things that may not be working for you or getting in your way.
Maybe I needed to have read the book to really understand your post. I feel that different personalities and methods of therapy work differently with different people, AND the same therapist might work in a different manner with two clients who are very different and have very different needs.
Shelli
poster:ShelliR
thread:1643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1644.html