Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2002, at 16:45:48
In reply to Ever at a loss for words in therapy?, posted by waterlily on November 19, 2002, at 15:25:09
It occasionally happens. And when it does I usually look at my therapist and give my "ok, i'm at a loss" shrug, and he'll ask a question or bring up something from a prior session. I don't do it routinely, so he knows it's not avoidance. Sometimes he has questions he's been thinking about and this gives him a chance to ask them without intruding on an existing dialogue.
Sometimes he has no more idea than I do what to talk about, or what he brings up is totally at odds with my mood and leads nowhere. In those cases I try to cut the session short. Actually, one of those happened yesterday. I was in a *really* good mood, and I discovered that he is more solemn than I had thought (ok, that was probably a mood based assessment on my part). He was dampening my good mood and stemming my flow of thought, and his questions were not anything I could answer in my mood. So I made chit chat and then escaped early. That was a shame really, because in talking to friends I realized there are a number of memories and attitudes that can only be addressed when I'm in that mood. I blew a good chance. So I guess I'll bring those things up next time, but unless I hold onto the good mood, it won't be as effective.
If it happens often though, maybe it's time to assess your therapy goals and choose a direction. And as always, let your therapist know your difficulties. Saying "I find myself at a loss for words" is more productive than just feeling it. And it couldn't hurt to let her know that your view is that she isn't really hard on you. It might motivate her some. :)
Good luck,
Dinah
poster:Dinah
thread:1595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1598.html