Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 16, 2002, at 0:37:55
In reply to Definition-Eddie, posted by Miller on November 14, 2002, at 6:40:17
>When something good happens to/for me I always feel as if I don't deserve it. It would be nice to be able to just enjoy a good thing.
---------------Definitions are hard, especially in this arena, because the subjects are so subjective. One of the best words I've seen for "lack of happiness" beyond 'depression' is anhedonia, which sounds somewhat, but not exactly, like what you're describing. I've experienced the inability (heck, the total loss of interest) to derive pleasure from things. In my experience, it was biological. Given the right drugs, the ability and desire came back. Given what you've said, would you be chemically capable to enjoy good things if you allowed yourself to, or is there something more psycological that keeps you from it? In either case, I can understand. I can't remember who on the board said it, but they mentioned that they plainly didn't feel comfortable allowing themselves to be happy. Like it was too decadent. I've had that feeling.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:1513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1563.html