Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2002, at 6:30:47
In reply to part 2, posted by terra miller on July 26, 2002, at 22:13:46
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> i forgot something. earlier on i would be so upset that i was barely able to pull myself out the back door. lots of times i would sit on the steps in the hallway until i could pull it together. i was visually foggy and couldn't see and thought i would faint any moment.Yes, that's it completely.
> we've gotten really good at moving through the phases, that i forgot that early on it wasn't as easy. and part of it was that i was still too afraid to let him in on what i was feeling... how out of it i actually was. i didn't want to admit and i felt like a 5 year old... that kind of thing; i didn't want him to know. so i wouldn't say anything and then i would be left to pull myself together. i expect that went on for the whole first year at least. i was in total shock for the whole first year of therapy (i've done 3 years.) that i couldn't see straight.
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I guess I need to learn to speak up more too. It usually doesn't happen because I usually keep an eye on the clock and start pulling back in the last 10 minutes or so. But every once in a while he will, in all innocence, say something in those minutes that throws me into dissociating. And it's darn hard when dissociating to have the presence of mind to say "Hey, it's not safe to let me go, could you please plop me down somewhere?" But he does say he can tell when I'm doing it.> but my therapist has said many times that he wishes at times that he had a gurney so that he could wheel people out into a recovery room until they could go home... he recognizes that it's really hard to make the transition.
Ooh. Great therapist. I think mine maybe doesn't work that much with people who dissociate.
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> terraThanks terra and judy. I'm going to print out your replies, if you don't mind and bring them to my therapist to let him know some things he can do to help.
(By the way, somehow I was able to let my dissociated ego state (it's not really an alter) "speak" to him today. It seemed to really help. I'm going to have to try to remember how I managed to do that.)
poster:Dinah
thread:730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020702/msgs/749.html