Posted by alexandra_k on August 7, 2020, at 12:15:58
In reply to Re: 'Look how great we have become.', posted by alexandra_k on August 7, 2020, at 2:51:15
There could be another Portland, to be fair.
I feel that I did my time with the angst. Camus and the like. The search for meaning. For understanding.
I think about the television shows i watched as a pre-teen. They were pretty influential, I guess. With respect to exposing me to different things and me sort of figuring out what I was interested in / keen on.
I was pretty interested in psychological thriller kinds of things.
I guess from thinking about God and deciding I wanted to believe but not really beliving and then sort of realising I didn't believe really and then feeling guilty about that...
And, as part of that, sort of wanting to believe in other things, too. And as part of growing up sorting out what I believed about various things. Ghosts. Spirits. Supernatural things. I spent more than a few nights in earnest trying to condense the air into something more substantial and trying to levitate. Then hypnotism... Thinking about that...
Then thinking about the sorts of things that some people apparently got up to. Serial killers and the like. Thinking about that kind of compartmentalisation. And thinking about other kinds. And... Wanting to be better at it. I don't know that I ever was multiple personality. I think I wanted to be. Because it was supposed to be about pain reduction -- right? So I tried to get better at it for the right reasons... But I know that I ever convinced myself, really. I don't know. I wanted to believe. Not for the purposes of absolving myself of responsibility for my own crimes. But of feeling less pain when it came to things that genuinely were outside of my control. That didn't involve harms or hurts to others. Only to myself...
Though I would say things, I guess. So maybe not victimless. I mean posts on these boards. That was the worst acting out. In a safe environment. Where I couldn't really hurt anyone. Mostly. I guess.
And I feel I've sorted out my understand of most things to my own satisfaction. But I see that most others have not sorted out most of their things to their own satisfaction.
But they don't pay me.
And some things not even money can buy.
There was this talk that someone gave that was kind of interesting about epistemically responsible agents. Some people just form beliefs in ways that are epistemically responsible. Whereas other's don't. Some people seem to uncritically accept whatever they are exposed to. A dim sensory impression is formed. Others do more organising. I guess that's it. The time spent processing... Sleeping... Dozing... Just having a quiet little lie down... Stopping the input from outside so that things can go round and round...
Then yoru intuition gets tuned. So you can make quick judgements or find answers quickly in real-time.
I'm often surprised (genuinely -- not in a condescending way) at how little most people think. I mean... Engage in internal verbal dialogue with themselves. To talk things through. To figure things out. To make decisions. To develop understanding.
Not just to rationalise or justify snap judgements made in non-epistemically responsible ways.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1111458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20200805/msgs/1111585.html