Posted by beckett2 on April 24, 2019, at 19:12:24
In reply to Re: Hi Alex, posted by alexandra_k on April 15, 2019, at 20:12:17
> Hi Beckett,
>
> Thanks for wondering :-)
>
> I am doing okay. I was homeless for a while which was pretty scary, actually, but I have a nice 1 bedroom apartment, now, which I love.
>
> I am trying to finish up my thesis, which is scary. I think it is supposed to be scary. I mean to say I think people are pleased about the fact that it is scary because they feel that that is the way that that is supposed to be.
>
> I am applying for Med again, next year. It is the last year I can apply, ever, so it will simply have to be a successful application.
>
> I am feeling old and tired, sometimes. Sometimes I feel resentful that this country would not offer me a better life. That all this country has offered me so far is so very very very much less than 'average' even, for all the years I've laboured towards attaining knowledge to help make this place better for a greater proportion of us -- that simply is not valued, at all.
>
> But thinking that way doesn't help me. Doesn't help people want to help me or whatever. So...
>
> Perhaps it is... I forget what it is called... When you hospitalise someone and expect to see immediate improvement for having them someplace safe with sources of stress alleviated by way of respite but instead of they deteriorate... Rebound phenomenon or something. Because they finally have a place safe enough for them to collapse properly.
>
> I feel a bit like that.
>
> Indignation etc is really not what I can afford to be feeling right now...
>
> Anyway...
>
> Something went right for me to get this place, I guess. And I have some funds to get some new clothes, which will help really rather a lot, actually.
>
> How are you Beckett?
>
>Wow, Alex, a new nice one bedroom! Good news. I'm really glad because this has been a long term issue. Regarding collapse, I imagine you're tired by the last few years. Be kind to yourself and have some nice quiet time. Do you like walking in nature?
What area will your thesis addres? Thesis projects are stressful at the very least. They're kinda big deal. But try not to buy into the scariness. I used lots of encouraging self-talk to manage the anxiety.
Ah, we get old. But we still have value. Even more because we have (hopefully) accumulated wisdom. That's also cliche, but it's true. And relatively, you are not old--only 'old' by school standards. Maybe that's your tiredness talking.
Really glad to hear from you. I'm ok. Trucking along. Trying not to lose my mind over my national politics :) Also, hoping the summer is not blistering. We lost two oaks over the winter. Like a sudden death. We're currently figuring out what caused this. The drought and heat of the past years have stressed all the trees here-- the redwoods are frying :( I've heard that redwoods are being propagated in NZ because the climate is right in an effort to save the species because, long term, who knows how long they will survive on the west coast of the US. Argh, I think about this all the time. Doesn't help the depression!
like a bird on a wire
poster:beckett2
thread:1103714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20190413/msgs/1104138.html