Posted by kylenn on August 6, 2006, at 20:18:39 [reposted on August 8, 2006, at 10:07:09 | original URL]
In reply to ReScarey Thought, posted by Phillipa on August 6, 2006, at 11:45:58
Ok, Phillipa,
I am going to let this be my last response to you.
Obviously, you are taking everything I say the wrong way; perhaps my communication skills are not as stellar as I thought they were.
Acting happy when one is not does not make one incompetent. I am not sure why you are so confused over this.
And, sweetie, if you want your docs to NOT be acting, I surely do not know what to tell you.
Presenting yourself as a caring professional is something that is drilled into us in the long years of med school and residency.
We have to learn, no matter what our mental/emotional state is, that we can not reveal that to patients, especially those that do not know us and are acutely ill.
Patients generally do not want to know that their doctor is angry at women in general because he just found out his wife is cheating on him. A good doc will manage to veil his feelings while dealing with his female patients.
A mother with her newborn does not want to know how sad the nurse that is caring for her is because she just had her third miscarriage.
A person just diagnosed with cancer does not want to know how tired doc is after 36 hours straight in the hospital.
Hon, I can't think of many jobs in life that don't require some amount of "acting".Not only that, but one of the things I have learned in therapy is that sometimes ACTING happy can actually foster true happiness. Hard to believe, but it is true.
I am sometimes honest with my patients about my feelings, but only, and I mean ONLY when I think self-disclosure may help the patient, and guess what, this usually happens when I am dealing with a desperately depressed patient, usually a female.
They have been "acting" for their family, for their job, for their spouse for so long, and just scratching the surface of the facade is all it takes to reveal their utter sadness and hopelessness. I am in a position to help, and at times, when they seem so alone in their misery, I reach out and let them know, they are not alone. I have been where they are now,and I can help them find their way out. I know the way; I am there for them. They can continue the act that they need to do to keep things running at the house or on the job. They can turn into a puddle with me.
I have a valuable role in my community.
I care VERY much about my patients, yes, even the ones that I have decided just might not be for real or might be taking advantage of the system in some way. I am, by nature, a very caring and concerned person. I feel deeply the hurt that others feel. I can not keep myself emotionally aloof from the desperately ill and sad patients and their families that I care for. I have been this way since I was 4 years old.If I have to "act" calm in the midst of chaos, no matter how nervous I am at my core, this is my job. By acting calm, calmness ensues, thinking clears, decisions get made.
Coding is one of the scariest things a health professional can do. The situation is, by nature, chaotic and scary. I have heard many a colleague say that the day codes don't make their heart beat a little faster is the day they need to quit.
I have been able over the course of my career to hone my acting skills to the point where, when I enter the room to begin a patient encounter, no matter how I felt in the hall, I immediately and without conscious effort go into the role of the "doctor" and whatever that patient needs from me at that moment, he will get, no matter what is in my heart. I am not in that room to indulge my own feelings and emotions, opinions or biases. I am in that room to be the one person that that patient can count on, confide in and trust. I will listen to him/her and I will do everything I can to make his or her life just a little easier.
And it does not matter how hard my life is and how I wish my life was easier. My job is to do what I can for that patient, and if that means putting on a brave face when I am scared, a serious face when I feel silly, a delighted face when I feel disappointed or a gentle face when I feel angry, that is what I will do.
If I do not need to "put on a face" for the patient, then I won't! Those encounters are, admittedly, the easiest! But, I know my job.
And I am good at it. Really good.
I consider myself an Oscar quality actress.
poster:kylenn
thread:674781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20060610/msgs/674807.html