Posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 11:03:54
My current slow long breakdown was excacerbated by the political situation of my country. I became an adult, and began to take part in my civic responsibilities. I invested my time, brain, mouth, and heart into my ideals. Many of my ideals are contained in the Declaration of Independence and the Preamble and Bill of Rights to the Constitution of the United States of America. Other ideals are biblical, and I guess the rest are scientific ie. "A species that preys on its offspring is doomed to extinction"
Setbacks on an international, national, and personal scale began to seem linked. I don't mean in a paranoid schizophrenic way, I mean in a this is what happens when you .... way.
The fury and resentment and humiliation of my childhood years came back. Only now it wasn't my parents, the school, the neighborhood, the local police, the army recruiter, the BurgerKing boss, Now it was everthing - Washington, Skull and Bones, Major corporations based offshore paying no taxes but taking mine.
And I didn't have some dumb little punk rock society to take out my aggression and confusion in. And I begain to think in ways that were even less healthy than before. Throw in large quanities of alcohol and depression, and you are left with the impotent fury and disgust I feel towards myself and my government. I don't think I can even be on city council when I "grow up" because too much of my illness is on public record. Every day when I leave the house, the possibility of committing an act, or being falsely accussed of committing an act that would strip me of my voting rights exists.
I can't legally pass a background check for a handgun. I don't want one and shouldn't have one, but it's my constitutional right. You know a well armed militia and all that.
I don't want to back away from reality to help my own sanity because that seems backward. but I can't get furious every day of my life. (something to do with cortisols).
I just wonder if anyone else here has politics as one of the triggers that makes them sick. And by politics, I don't just mean the act of statesmen using oneupmanship to gain power and get their way, I mean the whole ball of wax. People dealing with other people in a ruling power sort of way.
I've lost my point again.
James k
poster:James K
thread:602998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20051121/msgs/602998.html