Posted by TexasChic on November 10, 2008, at 22:03:27
I actually WISH I could purge! But I really, REALLY hate throwing up. But at least I wouldn't have the fat.
I know that's messed up thinking. I actually eat until I feel I could throw up. I give myself diarrhea all the time from binging. Its awful. I've been anorexic before, and I've felt that closing in recently as well. Ana gives you a high once you get past a certain point. At my last job I worked so much I started to skip eating, and I began to feel that high/lure. Now I stuff my face until I almost throw up. I'm completely aware its an anxiety thing, but I'm running low on meds and feeling very OCD (which is the category I feel my binging falls into). I replace anxiety with stuffing food in my face. I don't know what I'm asking for here, if anything, I just needed to put it our there. At times like these, I hate myself.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:862178
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20081009/msgs/862178.html