Posted by Dr. Bob on April 25, 2010, at 11:46:37
In reply to My perspective » Dr. Bob, posted by PartlyCloudy on April 25, 2010, at 7:06:12
> I agree it seems some (like me) are VERY affected by the blocks.
> To me blocks feel punitive becuase of their length. They are not just a time out to get control, the are a punishment. And IMHO sometimes the punishment FAR outweighs the crime.
> This is not a safe place to get to know other people cuz I come to care about people here, and then I get very angry at the punishments that occur. It is very upsetting to me.
> No chance to talk things out, just banishment.
> There is no democracy here. whatsoever.
> I can't feel safe here.
> M> Please look at this piece that appeared in the New York Times on April 21st - http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/fashion/22life.html
>
> I bring it to the attention of the board, and to you, Dr Bob, for several reasons. The internet is utterly unlike face to face communication. The anonymity it affords has lent itself to escalated emotional outbursts from its very inception; "flame wars", which you have attempted to control with the evolution of the civility guidelines.
>
> some of the members ... are already traumatized by past events, and so are reliving, in a very immediate sense, those past events when they are re-triggered by seemingly benign new events.
>
> at the time, it's really and truly been out of my hands because it's been a trauma reaction. ... It's only now, that my recovery has progressed to a degree that I feel secure in my reactions to many trigger situations, that I felt I was able to speak out here on the boards.
>
> I do think that by blocking Fayeroe when you did - before she had an opportunity to enter into an open discussion with *you*, whom she seem to have offended, was unfortunate. ... I think it was a lost chance for growth here.
>
> PartlyCloudyFrom that piece:
> What confounds me is why online commenters are so gratuitously nasty; why, when given the opportunity to have an educated disagreement with an author or other readers, they use the space allotted to spew venom instead of presenting a well-reasoned argument.
>
> Kathleen Taylor, the author of "Cruelty: Human Evil and the Human Brain," has a theory. Were evolved to be face-to-face creatures, she said in a recent interview. We developed to have constant feedback from others, telling us if it was O.K. to be saying what were saying. On the Internet, you get nothing, no body language, no gesture.
>
> knowing the pouncing quality of many commenters really does silence me.
>
> several news media outlets, including this one and The Washington Post, are rethinking their approach to anonymous reader comments. The idea is to hold users more accountable and to prevent some of the user-generated vitriol that takes place online.I agree with muffled, people can be upset by blocks. Both when they're blocked themselves and when they see others blocked. For them, this may be an unsafe place.
No, blocks aren't just a time out. They're also in part to punish, as in:
> 1 a : to impose a penalty on for a fault, offense, or violation
Blocks (and the requests to be civil before them) could be seen as the feedback and holding posters accountable that are missing on other sites. I regret that anyone's been traumatized, but nastiness, venom, vitriol, and the resulting fear of being pounced on -- "a face full of cat", seldomseen said once -- aren't conducive to support and education.
A block may seem to outweigh a particular incivility, but remember that I also take into account the poster's "record". A third strike is different than a second.
Sometimes there's a chance to talk things out. There was this time. But a trauma reaction may also lead someone to miss a chance to grow. But fayeroe will have more opportunities here when her block is up. And hopefully she has opportunities elsewhere in the meantime.
PC, I'm glad your recovery's progressing and you're back.
There's some democracy here. The block was my decision, but before that, those who saw her post and my follow-up had the opportunity to "vote" -- by trying to show her how she might rephrase or encouraging her to apologize. One poster did that.
> I feel like Kristine Collins fighting for what is right, but yet I get blocked ... to silence me when I question decisions of those in authority.
>
> BabyToesPosters don't get blocked for questioning my decisions. Posters get blocked for being uncivil. Do you think you may have felt traumatized by decisions made by those in authority in the past?
Bob
"a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind" -- The New York Times
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:944420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/945017.html