Posted by Nadezda on July 7, 2009, at 17:43:06
In reply to BLAMING the COMMUNITY! I've had it!!!!! STOP IT!! (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on July 6, 2009, at 23:35:22
I don't think Bob is trying to blame or shame anyone, or "us."
We all could think, though, about what we did to help Verne after his PBC, knowing, as we do, how much and how likely he is to be blocked-- and how prone he is to say things that may be problematic.
It's easy to be hurt and angry about what happens to people here, and to want Bob to fix it all. But on the other hand, when people are hurt by another poster, they want some protection, too.
There are many conflicting purposes and lines of responsibility, and possibilities for actions that remain untaken. Maybe if we try to help one another to accept what may be a limited, or not comfortable situation, rather than speaking out, we could create that better place.
Anger and hurt are like waves that flow through here, and they can build on one another-- one person's evoking and heightening another's, and being heightened and reevoked in return,as these things ripple outward through the community.
Maybe if we could try to do more self-soothing about these issues, and remember that it's primarily our responsibility to cope with our anger and hurt-- not that of Bob or others here-- we could be more accepting of what is and isn't possible and/or allowed, and what consequences flow from violating the known rules-- or even the unclear, but recognized rules.
I can't believe that anyone would describe another poster here as in the present case without expecting problems. Verne knows his situation. He had the responsibility, primarily, to think about what would happen if he took various actions, or wrote various things. He decided to write what he wrote, then, with a reasonable idea of what could or would happen.
I'm sorry about what happened. I personally believe that the blocks here are too long. But I also believe that Bob is acting in good faith, as are we all, and that we would be better served by all stepping back and taking a breath, and trying to be more accepting.
I personally take very seriously that we all, including Bob, want this to be a good place for people-- and that, even if he's wrong, he's acting out of good impulses.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:905306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090707/msgs/905522.html