Posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:06:55
In reply to Re: an opportunity, posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 18:56:41
> I really can't believe that I used to support Bob in his civility rules. Whenever I couldn't understand why he interpreted those words uncharitably I'd charitably construct a little story to myself that justified his actions. Over and over and over.
And what is worse I thought that being a good friend to people meant working with them to try and help them understand why they had been blocked. I'd come up with little stories that seemed to make sense of Bob's blocking them. I'd try and help them see that that was why they were blocked thinking that if they could understand what they did wrong they could see how to alter their behavior in the future. I thought they would see that the block really was for the good of the group and that things would be nicer if they altered their behavior in future. I remember telling them that I could empathize with their feeling bad and that I was trying to help them as a gesture of friendship.
I lost friends over that. Larry Hoover. When he was blocked for being righteously angry with Deneb for posting something about how she was going to hurt herself of something like that. I thought I was being a friend to him. I thought that that was how one could be a good friend. You don't know what it means to be a good friend, do you Bob. I understand Larry's feeling on that now. He had the physiological reaction that I did above. He did not take kindly to my doing that.
I guess Bob didn't think that Larry and Deneb were good enough friends for them to be able to sort things out. I guess Bob didn't have much faith that other posters would step up to help them understand where each other was coming from. I don't think Bob knows what it means to be a friend.
Why don't you go away Bob? You were basically gone for a while and I thought I could return if you weren't around. But then you come back and post innane things like you have done on this thread. Covert incivilities and judgements of negative intent and whatever whatever all phrased so its technically within the guidelines imparted to you by God along with divine command on appropriate retribution for infractions. Why don't you go away and let people support each other? People have been saying this: Go away. If you are only going to come here to block and be uncharitable towards the intentions of others go away. Your presence here is not benign.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:888433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/892014.html