Posted by muffled on April 19, 2009, at 23:14:54
In reply to Re: an opportunity, posted by Dr. Bob on April 19, 2009, at 20:46:41
> I understand that posters may want to feel accepted by me. I do accept all posters, but I think it's unlikely that I'll grow to accept uncivil posts. Is not blocking posters the way for me to show I accept them?
dare I?, oh why not. Keeps me outta trouble IRL I suppose.
Hmmmm, well, sometimes, in the name of chartitablness and acceptance, we can *first* warn, immediately B4 punish(like 24 hrs) THEN if no satisfaction, perhaps a SHORT block.
This has been one of the major points here....that the blocks are too long. Too punitive. Too hurtful.
"Is not blocking posters the way for me to show I accept them?", well blocking posters, effectively banishing them for WEEKS, MONTHS at a time isn't exactly accepting behaviour....I expect it FEELS more like 'F off you disgusting person'... :-( However, I speak for myself...how it feels...
Now that being said...I have noticed that there HAS been a seeming reduction in numbers of blocks. For awhile there it was a bit silly! Do you remember me being blocked for f*rt????? Sigh... Anyhow, those days are past, and I think there HAS been improvement.
> I understand wanting a captain, especially in a storm. I'm sorry I've left you all to weather some previous storms by yourselves. But I'm here now. But a captain can't do much by himself.Thank you for the apology. Your here now....what does that mean? I admit, with the passing of time, and observations on other internet boards, I have had some changes of heart re: proceedures.
> > > The point of this site is for posters to support each other. It seems to me a straightforward way of supporting each other would be to help each other avoid being blocked.
Yes....up to a point. Others have been making wonderful observations here.
I am also assuming my fellow posters have a brain. Yes, sometimes its good to hint, other times I am aware they are making a point, and who am I to interfere w/them?> You're right, supporting someone who runs afoul of my policies by helping them avoid a block afterwards doesn't help me enforce those policies. Helping them not run afoul of them in the first place would, but helping them avoid a block afterwards just means one fewer missing loved one.
???
Yes, I sgree, helping others know the rules would be good....if they were consistant....if they made sense....
> I'm glad you feel supported and love it here. Thanks for believing that I'd also like fewer blocked posters and a safer Babble.Awwwww, thats so sweet...
> Mebbe I snarl some, or send posters off to their cabins to cool down for a bit, or longer, but that's about it.NO!!!! That is the POINT!!!!! You send them off for TOO LONG. Good gravy, a week is *plenty* unless it is just totally our of line...like *extreeme ongoing* cases...
> I wonder if some posters may be attached (not by choice, of course) to feelings of powerlessness. Maybe the idea that they actually have some power is what seems fishy.
Oh dude, interesting thing to ponder...but not me...I am USED to power man....so ya, mebbe you right, pwerlessness pisses me off, but ONLY because I see injustice(IMHO). Other than that I don't give a rats *ss.
> Empathy, communication, reassurance, and checking in give you influence (a form of power). As Sigismund said before, there are different ways of negotiating a response in such a way as to make it possible. I thought posters helped influence Verne to apologize, and I'm glad he's still on the boat. More shooting means less peace. More apologies means fewer blocks and more peace.
Verne is a big boy. He apologized cuz HE wanted to AND has done in the past. MAYBE we influenced him, maybe not.
Less shooting is good BUT, one thing that seems intrinsic to therapy, is that when there ARE breakdowns, some of the greatest gains are made by REPAIR of the relationship. If you block for weeks at a time, the window of opportunity for repair is lost.
Conflict AND a chance for repair = growth...> The "herd" here seems to be willing to let Fayeroe fall overboard. But maybe people are trying to support her behind the scenes. I hope so.
OMG. 'F'you Bob, I mean seriouly Bob, F YOU!
That is a seriously *SSH*L* comment on your part.
It makes me SOOOOOO FRIKKEN MAD.
Dude, you think we not care bout Pat??? Of COURSE we do, DUUUUUHHHHHH.
I also know, that she is a smart , intelligent woman, who knows the rules here, who knows what is what.
She is NOT STUPID.
Sh*t.
This where you really don't get it do you?
I don't wanto make you feel bad, I want to help you to understand. And I have tried B4, but you just don't get it :( For that I am sad. Cuz i think you ARE trying....Hey WTF, I am willing to work w/ya Bob....LOL. 100.00/hr, if you wanna come up to canada, I will be your T!
HA!Everyboddys got their 'stuff', you too Bob, thats OK, but manoman, you surely make me nuts from time to time.
LOL! Mebbe cuz I care hey?
:-0!
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:888433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/891715.html