Posted by JadeKelly on April 4, 2009, at 22:44:22
In reply to Blocks, posted by verne on April 3, 2009, at 3:13:38
Dr. Bob,
as i'm not feeling so angry right now, I'd like to try once more for you to hear me, I am really not trying to be rude Dr Bob, but either you are too busy to remember what has been previously said, posted,etc. or I think you really don't want to hear your posters. I hope its the former, and that you will consider adding to your staff.
Apr 4, 2009 12:04:44 PM, bob@dr-bob.org wrote:> It is, from what I've seen, very unusual for someone to get a block
> w/o a PBC, unless they have been warned with in a day or two
> regarding their behavior. The blocks are given very inconsistently
> with your policies and rules. Some can say whatever they want, and
> others well, not. In addition, you say that this is not meant to be
> hurtful. I feel in my case it was. No babblmail gets to me, I
> received NO notitification that I was blocked, as it was done at
> night I geuss. I went to post the next day, was blocked for 2 weeks
> and didn't even know why. This is a shock, its hurtful, and they had
> HOURS to at least email me that I'd been blocked. *Do you really feel
> this is okay Dr, Bob?* Is this not punative? Did they really "hate"
> blocking me? My therapist and psychiatrist are in the same office,
> and feel this behavior towards posters who come here for help is an
> abuse of power, as I do feel abused, among other things. Luckily, I'm
> smart enough to leave when I'm being treated that way.It may be unusual, but it happens. You had already been blocked 2 months before and warned twice 1 month before. We could be seen as inconsistent or as using our judgment. I know that we sometimes cause hurt even though we don't mean to, and I'm sorry about that. Blocked posters are notified the next time they try to post, we don't email them. I realize that can be a shock. To find out why, it's up to them to find the post from us. Yes, we really do hate to block people. It's using our power, but I don't see it as abusing it. If you feel abused somewhere, I agree, it might be smart to leave.
I geuss for the sake of Babble, I was hoping you would say that this block was handled poorly. Instead, you are defending it which tells me this kind of "rule" on the site is not only acceptable to you but expected. I'm wondering if you think its having a positive impact on the boards. If you truly mean not to cause hurt, may I offer a few suggestions?
Email the blocked party immediately. Why would you want to "shock them"? You've said on Admin that something kind should always follow a PBC. My second suggestion is to have the deputy that issued the block and sends the email, tell the poster why they are being blocked. To make them find it *I feel* is childish on the part of admin, and hurtful to the poster. I think a kind word would go a long way here as well. Maybe even an offer of a discussion afterward. Example: Jade, you have been blocked for two weeks as a result of your post " name of post" I wanted to let you know so that you would not be surprised. Please understand that this has nothing to do with how I feel about you personally, but is a direct result of your post and our guidlines. If you would like to talk about how to avoid this in the future, please contact me when your block is up and I will be happy to have a private conversation with you about it. Deputy ABC.
Next, a blocked poster has a very difficult time appealing the block. Have you seen your deputies email addresses? They obviously are not meant to be used. THE ONLY way to contact anyone (unless you want to spend an hour trying to figure out missing email parts) is to email you. Which I did. I cc'd all of my emails to you, with in 1-3 days I'd say of my block. It was repeated over and over that I had emailed Jan immediately with a sincere apology, which I did, and we are trying to repair our friendship now. Yet, you offered to reconsider my block if I were to send you a copy of the apology, a day before it was over. I'm not sure how to take that other than you weren't hearing me. Would you intentionally offer to reconsider, finally, my 2 week block, the day before its over? Can you maybe see where I don't feel heard?> *You'll let it stand? Its over in a day or two Dr. Bob. As I said in
> a earlier email, I will not be back, what difference does any of this
> make now, lol? *I'm feeling angry right now, and as much as I
> intended to try to offer some insight here, you telling me that
> "your going to let it stand", when my block is essentially over, is
> insulting, tells me that I'm not being heard , and frankly, just as I
> could not get the smallest courtesies when I was blocked, I no longer
> have time or interest in offering well thought out, researched
> material that may have been helpful. At this point, I think my time
> is better spent somewhere that I can make a difference.I understand that you feel angry. But I did hear you, I just didn't change my mind as a result.
This is hurtful communication as well. I just hear defensiveness. You feel angry *But* Where in this statement can you explain receiving at least three emails that mentioned the apology, and that I would be open to some kind of open dialogue with Jan to stop the bickering on the board. And your offer to reconsider the day before my block is up should I provide you with the apology? Can you see here where maybe I felt unheard? If you had acted on my apology to Jan one of the many times I emailed that to you (makes me feel I'm being heard) "But I did hear you, I just didn't change my mind as a result" again, if I was truly heard, you would not have waited until the day before my block is up to reconsider based on my immediate apology to Jan, you said if you received that, you may reconsider the block. You say you did hear me, I don't believe you would intentionally be that hurtful as to offer reconsideration the day before the block is up. In addition, Jan said if anyone had contacted her she would have confirmed it. We talk every day.
I sincerely hope that somewhere in our conversations, Dr. Bob, you really did hear something that will benefit the posters at Babble. As I am leaving, I have no other agenda here other than I care about them.PosterJadeKelly
PS- Einstien I believe: Definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
You are losing a lot of really cool posters at an alarming rate.
poster:JadeKelly
thread:888433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/888738.html