Posted by twinleaf on December 8, 2008, at 19:55:23
In reply to Re: This is so hard » twinleaf, posted by Dinah on December 8, 2008, at 18:23:41
Yes, despite your presupposition, I do understand that the correct way to try to help a poster is to make positive suggestions, and not to be at all critical. My point is that there are occasions when mild, positive suggestions are simply not going to be noticed by a person who is under tremendous emotional pressure. This appears to have happened in the present situation. It's at that point that we no longer have acceptable ways to help. Several posters have expressed the same feeling of helplessness on this thread.
Thank you for pointing out to me that Babblers are not therapists. I assume that you must have thought I was uncertain about that vital point. As to your reminding me that other posters have feelings *also*, I must also assume that you think I am unaware of that, even though every single post of mine on this topic has emphasized this exact point- that we need to always balance the needs of a poster in distress with the needs of everyone else in our community..
When I have been blocked here, I have been astonished by how strong my feelings of having been rejected actually are. It is as though I have been part of a tribe, and have suddenly been cast out. At the same time, I have never had the slightest feeling that Bob, or any deputy, have rejecting feelings towards me. I do not feel that anyone is doing anything other than doing their best to administer the site as fairly as possible, and I know that it is often a difficult and thankless job. Although you seem to assume that I do not know what the site guidelines are, as it happens, I have managed to learn exactly what they are over the course of five years of participation here. I know that good, fair administration, not any personal dislike of me, is what informs all of the decisions about PCBs and blocks. When I have been blocked, what has made me feel so rejected and alone is never any feelings of rejection by anyone; it is that I was suddenly alone and cut off from communication and the possibility of repaired dialogue during a time of heightened need for just those things with just this community..
poster:twinleaf
thread:867435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/867601.html