Posted by laima on August 19, 2006, at 17:24:44
In reply to Re: I have two general admin suggestions, posted by Dinah on August 19, 2006, at 9:23:18
Wow, you are lucky to find DBT therapy. I've been trying, but the groups I've located have not been accepting new people.> Ok, my best shot at defining it is that it is accepting reality for what it is, without judgement. It doesn't mean approving of reality. It just means accepting that it *is* reality.
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> It doesn't even mean that you can't take realistic steps to change the present reality. But it does mean evaluating those steps in terms of reality.
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> As an example, and hopefully those with Eastern philosophy training or DBT training would correct me if I was wrong, suppose you have a mother who you have never been able to have a good relationship with. Radical acceptance would mean accepting that your mother is who she is, and that she's not the mother you wish to have, or that you might deserve to have, or that it would be fair to have. And no matter what you do, or how well you treat her, or how much you beg her, she will always be who she is. Just like the wind will always blow and the sun will always shine.
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> It doesn't mean that you approve of getting a mother who isn't the mother you want.
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> It doesn't mean you can't try to change the rules of your engagement with your mother.
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> It just means that you accept that what is, is.
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> Nothing terribly profound. I meant nothing unkind or sarcastic by it. I just saw that people were getting upset and was suggesting alternatives, that's all.
poster:laima
thread:677510
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060802/msgs/678156.html