Posted by cloudydaze on August 12, 2006, at 16:20:25
In reply to Re: civility » cloudydaze, posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2006, at 3:24:53
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> I considered it jumping to a conclusion because I didn't think you could really know what he felt, and I thought moderators might have felt accused or put down by that.--So, are you jumping to conclusions about how the moderators feel now? I think there was enough evidence there for me to draw that conclusion. Do you think anyone ever REALLY knows how anyone else feels? No, they don't - that's why one has to draw one's own conclusion sometimes. Everyone draws conclusions - whether you think they are right or wrong is irrelevant - you will NEVER be able to say who's right an who's wrong about someone else's feelings.
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> > > this doesn't mean I don't like you
> >
> > i do think you don't like me
>
> That's jumping to a conclusion again. Did you look at the links I posted above?> One way to rephrase that as an I-statement would be:
>
> > i do feel disliked by you
>
> Do you see any difference?
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> Bob---Yes i read the links, and no, i still don't understand. How is it that me expressing how I feel is jumping to a conclusion?
jumping to a conclusion means "to guess the facts about a situation without having enough information". However, when it comes to HOW I PERSONALLY FEEL, I have all the information I need. You cannot tell me how I do or do not feel - I don't care what kind of degree you have. You are no expert on me.
You have, however, told me what I can and cannot express - which is why I have found a new boards to post on. Some that are laid back and relaxed, but I have not read one post on them that is uncivil. They must know something you don't, Bob.
I'm sorry, but I think "I statements" are completely pointless. While I understand the concept, I don't think it's relevant or even necessarily helpful. I understand the difference between an accusation like "your post was offensive" and a statement like "I felt offended by your post", but not the difference or relevance between "I don't think you like me" and "I feel disliked by you". They are both about how I think/feel, and they both use the word "I" first, and "you" second. There is no difference between these two statements. Neither of them is jumping to any conclusion. I would have to say "you don't like me" to even be considered to be jumping to a conclusion.
Yes, Dr. bob...i do need professional help (in reference to your reply to Texaschic's post about me freaking her out apparently - which was unintentional). But what I don't need is the stress i get from this board. It ended up "helping" me to an emotional breakdown that almost resulted in the loss of my life, and everything I have worked hard for. Had I been alone for a few minutes longer, I would not be here now.
I hope you realize and take more seriously the emotional impact you have on this little piece of cyberspace, and I hope for the sake of other fragile persons like myself, that you find a better way to keep the peace without coming off like a crazed control freak playing with the marionettes that make up the babble community, Pulling strings to see us dance, and cutting the strings every time they get a little tangled, instead of trying to untangle the strands. Is it empowering, being a puppetmaster?This is not the place for me, and I have found a place that is for me. I couldn't leave without expressing myself properly, now, could I?
poster:cloudydaze
thread:666864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060802/msgs/675858.html