Posted by alexandra_k on July 23, 2005, at 20:16:44
In reply to Re: gender differences » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2005, at 19:46:55
> Is it possible to partially idealize someone? Idealize aspects, perhaps, but not the whole person?
I don't see why not. I used to think idealisation was fairly much how one saw / ones attitude towards that whole person - probably because thats how I saw the concepts presented. But now I think that that is probably a bit crude. I don't see why you can't have a fairly realistic assessment / expectations most of the time - but still idealise some aspects some of the time. Especially when one is feeling fragile.
>I'm not sure that's a gender difference though. I see a lot of men where idealization may be at play.
Yeah. I don't know whether it is a gender difference. I was thinking that maybe females were more prone to it than males - but maybe thats just wrong.
> I was really interested in the top down gender perspective. Whether Dr. Bob saw himself as an alpha male.What do you mean by 'alpha male'? What sorts of thoughts, perceptions, behaviours would you expect from someone who thought they were 'alpha male'?
>Whether he thought the role of alpha male may play a part in his perception of interactions with members.
Do you mean whether he felt like he had to defend himself against posters he perceives as threatening his authority?
>I suppose that's impossible to conceptualize without also viewing the bottom up feelings of members that might influence his responses.
Thats what I meant when I said that even if he did become aware of feeling the urge to defend himself or partake in a 'pissing contest' it is hard to know whether that occurs to him BEFORE or AFTER someone has said something to indicate that that is what they are wishing to do... Which comes first, the transference or the counter-transference, the chicken or the egg??
> Perhaps I feel more comfortable questioning Dr. Bob's responses, because of civility considerations.Yep.
> But I'm trying to be PC, which means denying the existence of gender differences, much less alpha males. :)There are gender differences, that is a fact. Its just the reasons for the gender differences (nature nurture) and the interpretation of the significance of those differences that can be a little unPC.
But it is hard to talk of 'gender differences' without making generalisations... And there are always going to be exceptions. But one can talk about 'tendancies'...
I'm not sure about whether there are characteristic gender differences that are apparant on the boards. I dunno.
> (P.S. I did examine my own self for signs of alpha b*tch.What are some 'alpha bitch' thoughts, perceptions, behaviours?
>My dogs certainly don't think of me as having any such signs.
?? But they don't challenge your authority do they? E.g., growling, being possessive with food, not wanting to lie down in front of you, trying to stand over you. If they thought there was a chance of beating you then the strongest would attempt to challenge...
>And I always think of myself more as a submissive spaniel than a dominant guard dog. I see signs of that in my posting style, which tends to contain a lot of qualifiers and apologies. But I'm not sure how accurately I can assess myself.)
I'm not sure...
Dogs can be quite different to people...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:525223
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050716/msgs/532378.html