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Re: PBC Dr. B

Posted by alexandra_k on October 25, 2004, at 23:48:07

In reply to PBC Dr. B, posted by alexandra_k on October 25, 2004, at 22:17:03

So, to summarise the situation: We are not allowed to say 'I feel _____' where the underscored word is a 'negative emotion' and the phrase occurs in the context of ones response to something that someone else has done, or to another person.

We are not allowed to express how we feel.

Note: this is not 'you made me feel ___' or even 'when you do _____ you make me feel _____'.

When we are saying that we feel a certain way BECAUSE of the actions of another.

Even less is it 'you are _____' when we consider that we have to feel that way because of an underlying quality of the other person

When we 'blame' them for our response

This seems to me a clear case of 'just shut up, you cannot express your feelings here'. I didn't appreciate that the civility rules were about one censoring WHAT one has to say, I thought it was all about phrasing it in a way that is not unduly hurtful or accusitory to another.

How about " 'I feel _______' - but then I am exceptionally sensitive which is why I am posting to a mental health board". Civil or no???

I do understand that it is hard (if not impossible) to make the civility rules explicit but I always thought I understood the general gist well enough.

Now I am mildly annoyed.
(NOTE: the above does not imply anything about the actions or behaviours of another, and should not be seen as blaming, accusing, or intentionally hurting).

Civil or no?

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041012/msgs/407274.html