Posted by Kali Munro on August 5, 2004, at 21:47:12
In reply to Munro, question re: vunerability tied to debate, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 5, 2004, at 0:18:43
>>>>It's when, the posters stop posting whatever they were really sharing and their attention is homed in on the comment. Now the thread shifts to a new arena and the original intent of support, sharing, & education is lost.
<<<<<
Herein lies the problem of responding to the person who is being inappropriate -- it takes attention away from the orginal poster, members' responses, and the overall supportive tone and turns it into a adversarial thread which is not what you want.This is why I say above (don't ask me where! ;) ) that it can be very effective if everyone together does not respond to those kinds of posts (and I bet you all recognize them) but instead carries on with the supportive tone of the thread. I know that's hard to do but it usually nips the problem in the bud!
>>>>So, what is one to do when they feel their are attacked or for that matter the group?<<<<I think different things can be helpful. I think the first thing to consider is what to do to take care of yourself. Check in with yourself when you feel attacked. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing a shortness of breath? Is your heart racing? Do you feel spacey? Checking in with yourself and acknowledging to yourself or a supportive person how you feel can help you to feel more grounded. I think your first "defense" is always to take care of yourself.
Then, you can do what I suggest above -- not respond -- or you can write how you feel. For example, "I feel unsupported (misunderstood, unseen, etc.) when you so strongly question my treatment...discredit my diagnosis...deny the existence of MPD/DID...and I would like to ask that you not question my treatment...What I'm needing in this thread is understanding for my feelings. Can you provide that kind of response?"
If you feel someone else was unsupported, you could say "If you said....to me I would feel unsupported. I think it would be more helpful if you were understanding of what s/he's going through than question her therapist."
It's real important that once you do respond that everyone keeps the thread on track -- don't let the poster derail your supportive/educational thread.
Kali
poster:Kali Munro
thread:374069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040717/msgs/374521.html