Posted by tealady on November 3, 2003, at 9:35:28
I appreciated both Gabby and Tabitha trying to get a message across to tell us newbies (who had no understanding of what happened in the past).
I really think they (and anyone) should be allowed to make a statement about what has happened openly.
Yes, I can see that this may affect someone negatively initially who is trying to start afresh, but I think they have to face up to their past to be genuinely able to start afresh.With time, a commitment/effort by the person involved, a genuine feeling of understanding and compassion for those they may have hurt and a real desire to change..they should by their own actions/posts show they have changed and are making an effort and then they will be hopefully be accepted for the person they have become by at least the great majority of the board. This involves acknowledgement of what has happened for starters. If this is not made and there is no understanding and compassion for those they may have hurt ..change will probably not happen and many may be hurt again.
For many of us (like me) who were not around at the time, yes I did appreciate the warning ..mainly as I am not too strong myself right now...and I think there would be others in the same boat. Knowing does not make me condemn Krissy(Gall)..just helps me understand better, and forewarns me. I do not think it changes my feeling towards that person or would stop me trying to get in touch if they were hurting and I sensed it...but it does warn me and allows me to handle things better.
I really think everyone's feelings should be considered, not just one persons.
Just my personal feelings on the this matter.Jan
poster:tealady
thread:276059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/276059.html