Posted by galkeepinon on October 11, 2003, at 4:06:56
I just wanted to know if this post was civil?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/268224.html
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I just want to make sure that I continue to be civil and bring it to your attention when I feel ANY post has been uncivil, and simply ask about them so your board remains safe, positive, and helpful.
**I read your guidelines, as I have before, and just want to clarify what I read:
>>>The dictionary definition is something like "conducive to civic harmony and welfare", but remember also the mission of this site, support and education, and the golden rule.
Please respect the views of others even if you think they're wrong. Please be sensitive to their feelings even if yours are hurt. Different points of view are fine, and in fact encouraged, but your freedom of speech is limited here. It can be therapeutic to express yourself, but this isn't necessarily the place.
Please don't be sarcastic, joke about death or suicide, suggest that others harm (or discuss specific ways of harming) themselves or others, ***jump to conclusions about others***, ***post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, harass or pressure others***, use language that could offend others, post information you know to be false, exaggerate or overgeneralize -- etc. Even if you're quoting someone else. Also, please don't post under more than one name at a time.
It's fine to give others feedback as long as its constructive. It tends to be more constructive if you put things in terms of what the other person might do better rather than what they did "wrong". And it tends to be more conducive to harmony to talk about how you feel than what someone else did, for example, to use an "I-statement" like "I feel put down by what you said" instead of a "you-statement" like "you're so arrogant". But don't just try to disguise the latter as the former, as in "I feel Dr. Bob has gone overboard". :-)You can also count to 10. Or just keep your reaction to yourself. Or refer to these virtual pamphlets from university counseling centers on dealing with anger or stress.
I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it... --Justice Potter Stewart, Jacobellis v. Ohio, 378 U.S. 184, 1964
To elaborate on the above a little, I do *not* mean that I have any special gift for discerning the "true" degree of civility of anyone's comments. What I do mean is:I can't spell it out any better. Maybe more precise than "I know it when I see it" would be "not until I see it can I know it".
It's subjective. I may think I know it when I see it, but others may think they know it when they see it, too -- and we may disagree. So maybe even more precise would be "not until I see it can I form an opinion about it".
This isn't always easy, and I know I'm not perfect. I want to be open to feedback, but if you could also please try to accept what I decide and to trust that I'm doing my best to be fair and to do what I think will be good for this community as a whole, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
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I wanted to ask this question, I totally understand that it isn't always easy, and no one's perfect, (as seen above), I was just wondering...Could you clarify this for me please.
Thanks so much.
poster:galkeepinon
thread:268232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/268232.html