Posted by allisonm on February 11, 2001, at 17:52:49
In reply to Re: Civility Dr. Bob » allisonm, posted by shellie on February 11, 2001, at 12:58:53
Rzip: "I noticed a dressing trend among psychiatrists...they usually like to wear a dark or light blue shirt with an accompanying tie. Why is that?"
Pat: "You asked the question 'why don't most of you take me seriously ?'; if this post is like the others I can see why. There is no logic here. Given that there are hundreds of thousands of psychiatrists there is no way you have seen enough to spot a trend. Blue is a very common color, and goes with everything."
Shellie: "Dr. Bob, I feel the need to defend pat123 here. I really think you were much to harsh in your criticism. Rzip had asked for feedback on why she preceived no one was taking her seriously. Then she presents a statement about "most therapists wearing blue" without explaining where she got that notion and it sort of coming out of the blue (no pun intended). I don't think that pat123 was inaccurate or uncivil in her response, because it was a response to a factual statement that had been made, not to an opinion. If Zrip had said "why is the sky always green, it would have struck me about the same. Maybe Zrip really meant, why does Dr. Bob wears a blue shirt. Or something else that she only knows."
Allison: "To suggest that Rzip's question was invalidated and deserved Pat123's response because she phrased her question as though it were a fact instead of an opinion is a scary proposition, in my opinion."
Shellie: "When you start out by stating that you disagree with my opinions, fine, I have no problem with that. But when you end suggesting that my opinions (not my actions) are scary, I feel that you've crossed the boundary into an attack at me, not merely disagreement."
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Shakespeare: "Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
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Shellie,
I am sorry that you feel that I was attacking you personally. I did not mean for my post to be a personal attack. In fact I tried to choose my words carefully.
Let me try and rephrase what I am trying to say (hopefully without putting my foot in deeper). Please correct me if I am mistaken, but from what I understood from your post, you thought it was OK for Pat to say what she did to Rzip because what Rzip said was a statement and not an opinion. I disagree with this assertion. It troubles me to think that the way a person phrases a thought as simple and uncontroversial as (I'm paraphrasing here) "I have noticed that psychiatrists usually like to wear blue shirts" merits a response as strong and as personal as "I can see why no one takes you seriously; your post has no logic in it" because the way the thought was put into words -- as a statement instead of an opinion -- was incorrect. By this standard, every irreverent post on these boards would warrant a personal attack. And who is to be the judge of what is logical? Were this standard used, it would disturb me and I think would cause a chilling effect on this board because I suspect this type of sentence construction occurs often, and because defining the logical is subjective. I would leave quickly were my posts held up to this rule.
It is my opinion that personal attacks should not happen here at all because it is not conducive to a supportive environment, which is part of the mission of this board.
It is for these reasons that I disagree with your opinion. I admit that I have made personal attacks in the past and knew it when I wrote them or soon after. I believe they were in response to more controversial posts than the ones above. Thinking back, I regret having written those critical posts. They usually are borne of emotion and I see now that I should have walked away from the issues. However, to say that your proposition scares me, in my opinion, is not a personal attack. As I said at the start, I did not mean for my post to be a personal attack. If "scary" conjures the wrong impression, maybe I should have said "troubling," "unsettling," or "disturbing." If any of those words is less offensive to you, please substitute it for "scary." Any one of them would accurately express what I was trying to say.
Best regards,
Allison
poster:allisonm
thread:629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20001124/msgs/638.html