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Re: My brain does not work,

Posted by jonhed on August 16, 2016, at 5:28:28

In reply to Re: My brain does not work, » jonhed, posted by lil jimi on August 15, 2016, at 16:08:21

Oh you are so nice to me that i want to cry.

I woke up this morning feeling a little bit more normal and yes i took your advice to do normal things and started to work and cook food and so on, things i'm confident in and it has helped tremendously.

And to baseballs post: Yes, this is meth withdrawal but i had forgotten how it felt after 15 month sober.
It is a hellish drug and i got to point one the first day i injected it, it was like being back to where i was 2 years ago just in 20 minutes after the initial rush was over and i started to searching my department for stuff and ended up in a paranoid psychosis, a clinical psychosis that is, and it's just horrible that i relapsed, but i am going to focus on the 15 month i had sober and not the 6 days on meth.

I was doing it wrong to, you where right that i should have done it in a rehab, but i did it at home with my doctors approval, and that turned out to be a bad idea.
I was on 6mg clonazepam and tapered out to 2mg in 10 days. But i'm proud of myself that i managed to get through it without continuing the amphetamines.

Now i'm 2 weeks sober and i have learned my lesson, i hope.

Thanks for all your support, this has been hell.
I cut myself so bad that i still have bandage on my left arm, i was so mortified by myself.

And the tip to Renormalization was the best i have ever heard.
Just sitting in my department would have left me with no other option than lighting up again, so thanks everyone.
I think the worst part is over now, the things i have left is the nightmares and sequences of memories that comes back throughout the day. That is not fun either.

Love / J


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poster:jonhed thread:1091346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20160713/msgs/1091366.html