Posted by b2chica on November 7, 2015, at 22:22:47
In reply to Re: manic suicidal ideation, please ideas » b2chica, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2015, at 21:22:39
hey P.
i was able to get a part time job, which allowed me to roll over my health ins. so i didn't loose everything. kids are beautiful.
they are the reason i haven't fallen on a train track yet. Sometimes that hurts more thought. because i've lost my 'out'. now...when i struggle, i seem to fall deeper inside myself because i'm no longer 'allowed' to express my pain externally by way of suicidal means. So i go, well...sometimes i get to far inside. there's been times i've been afraid i couldn't get back out. i think last fall and Jan this year were the worst i've been in 10 years.
anyway. i'm in a wobbly state. needed to come here. the problem is ins. stopped covering zyprexa because there are so many generics... i've tried most generics and had terrible side effects. i think i have one brand that was not bad... but can recall mfg. i will try that again here in about a week, if the ativan my pdoc gave me doesn't kick in.
tnx p.
take care.
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1083869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150929/msgs/1083912.html